i'm so depressed.  i am fighting with myself should i drink or shouldnt i?  this is so hard even after 16 days.  i feel so damn tired of this.  physically i feel fine.  i still have occassional shit. sweats or not sleeping well but on the whole physically i am coming along.  i just cant stop thinking about alcohol and with some personal issues i think of it more.  i just feel so down.  i think about what am i missing, what fun?  what wil i be missing on holidays whey that is what we do.  drink.  i think way to much but i cant help it.  sigh