being an alcoholic is a horrible thing really.  all that goes with it.  the guilt that anger the anxiety.  i find my self depressed when i drink and depressed when i dont.  if i stop drinking i feel like shit, almost like i am hungover without the drinking so i end up drinking so i dont feel bad.  this is going to kill me.  so why cant i stop?do i have to die before anyone realizes this is a problem?  why do i have to repeatedly ask my family not to let me drink and it only lasts a couple of days?  i'm giving up.