well i am new here.  not sure what to do but i guess as a journal i should say i am an alcoholic and realize it.  funny part is seems i can admit it when no one else around me can.  i talked to my dr who said it is a bad habit, i talked to my husband who will not buy booze for a few days but when i need it he buys it, caves in.  i feel like everyone i have begged to help have let me down or abandonded me.  anyone who is an alcoholic must know the depression that comes with it and i am very depressed.  worse than i ever have been.  it feels hopeless.  i stopped drinking for almost 2 months starting in january but gave in.  this week it was two days but i am drinking now.  i feel like giving up and just resolving to the fact this is it.  i hate me.