My mom used to say - "There once was a little girl With a curl in the middle of her forehead. And when she was good She was very, very good. And when she was bad She was horrid." And then she would very calmly, matter-of-factly, tell me that I was horrid. They sound so mundane, but those words punch me in the gut to this day. Despair. I say to myself - I'm not bad (yes you are) Well I know that I am demonstrably not bad (well unless you count the time you did...etc) There are worse people than me (well of course, but that doesn't mean you aren't bad) But I've done this good thing and that good thing (which doesn't undo the fact that you're bad) But it's not my fault (of course it is) If you weren't bad this wouldn't have happened to you.