Catching up....
Its been a while, a long while.
I left for many reasons, I need to in order to get to the core of my healing. In many ways, I was holding myself hostage with situations, and people, and DS. It slowed my healing and kept me stuck for a while. Well, that is partially true. I kept myself stuck by giving my power to others. No longer. Im here in the hopes that maybe I can encourage and help. NEVER in a million years did I ever dream that I would come out on the other side of divorce. Not just from losing the man I loved more than anything, but with all that came with it. Some of you know my story....I think I could give Edgar Allen Poe a run for his money in the realm of horror. Im a survivor. I didnt know that a few years ago, but I do now. I played the role of the victim, the perpetrator, and the rescuer at some point. I played a part in the demise of that relationship. And now I have taken responsibility for it. I was a doormat. If you dont want to be walked on, you have to get up off the floor. I was an enabler. I enabled the drinking, the behavior, and even myself in my own sick denial. I wasnt perfect. I didnt always act perfectly. My reactions to his disease and his actions was less than stellar. Ive made amends.
I processed the pain, dissected every tiny morsel, because I was SO fearful I would have residual garbage left over. Its taken me almost 4 YEARS to get to where I am now. I hope that does not discourage anyone...it is a process...and it took me that long, because that was how long I CHOSE to hold onto it all. Be gentle with yourselves..its a PROCESS. There is no prize, or trophy,or anything waiting for you at the finish line IF you make it a race. Do what you need to do for you. Feel your feelings. Stand in your power and your truth and beauty. Fight for yourself...and no one else.
Whomever thought that the best was to get over someone was to get over someone else was the biggest fool on the planet. Trust me, that doesnt work. Tempting, but nothing other than a great distraction. When we are that hurt, we just want to be loved and listened to and cared for. Its a natural response. But I promise you, it will be disastrous at some point when you bring your issues from the past into another relationship. The best thing you can do is take care of yourself. know what its like to be ALONE. Alone and lonely are 2 very different things. Romantic love is not the be all and end all. it shouldnt be how we measure our self worth or quality of life.
Happiness is an inside job. Others may add happiness and joy to our lives, but never ever ever are we to rely on others for happiness in itself. Unconditional love is accepting other for who they ARE, not who you want them to be. When we quit pointing fingers at everyone else and taking inventory of their faults, and point that finger back on ourselves..that is when the real work begins.
As far as I am concerned, and from what I have learned, we all suffer from the same condition.
HUMAN FRAILTY
Im not perfect, you arent perfect, and our exes arent either. Quit blaming others for not being who YOU want them to be, and work on becoming the person YOU want to be. For you. Without judgement. That is when the world becomes a completely different place. We cant do it all perfectly all of the time, but when we stumble, we learn and we grow.
Life is good. Count your blessings. Show gratitude even for the little things each day. Be kind to one another and yourselves. Anger gets you no where and worry doesnt either. Let go. Surrender. The path will unfold before you. now all you have to do is take a step, and walk.
Namaste
I left for many reasons, I need to in order to get to the core of my healing. In many ways, I was holding myself hostage with situations, and people, and DS. It slowed my healing and kept me stuck for a while. Well, that is partially true. I kept myself stuck by giving my power to others. No longer. Im here in the hopes that maybe I can encourage and help. NEVER in a million years did I ever dream that I would come out on the other side of divorce. Not just from losing the man I loved more than anything, but with all that came with it. Some of you know my story....I think I could give Edgar Allen Poe a run for his money in the realm of horror. Im a survivor. I didnt know that a few years ago, but I do now. I played the role of the victim, the perpetrator, and the rescuer at some point. I played a part in the demise of that relationship. And now I have taken responsibility for it. I was a doormat. If you dont want to be walked on, you have to get up off the floor. I was an enabler. I enabled the drinking, the behavior, and even myself in my own sick denial. I wasnt perfect. I didnt always act perfectly. My reactions to his disease and his actions was less than stellar. Ive made amends.
I processed the pain, dissected every tiny morsel, because I was SO fearful I would have residual garbage left over. Its taken me almost 4 YEARS to get to where I am now. I hope that does not discourage anyone...it is a process...and it took me that long, because that was how long I CHOSE to hold onto it all. Be gentle with yourselves..its a PROCESS. There is no prize, or trophy,or anything waiting for you at the finish line IF you make it a race. Do what you need to do for you. Feel your feelings. Stand in your power and your truth and beauty. Fight for yourself...and no one else.
Whomever thought that the best was to get over someone was to get over someone else was the biggest fool on the planet. Trust me, that doesnt work. Tempting, but nothing other than a great distraction. When we are that hurt, we just want to be loved and listened to and cared for. Its a natural response. But I promise you, it will be disastrous at some point when you bring your issues from the past into another relationship. The best thing you can do is take care of yourself. know what its like to be ALONE. Alone and lonely are 2 very different things. Romantic love is not the be all and end all. it shouldnt be how we measure our self worth or quality of life.
Happiness is an inside job. Others may add happiness and joy to our lives, but never ever ever are we to rely on others for happiness in itself. Unconditional love is accepting other for who they ARE, not who you want them to be. When we quit pointing fingers at everyone else and taking inventory of their faults, and point that finger back on ourselves..that is when the real work begins.
As far as I am concerned, and from what I have learned, we all suffer from the same condition.
HUMAN FRAILTY
Im not perfect, you arent perfect, and our exes arent either. Quit blaming others for not being who YOU want them to be, and work on becoming the person YOU want to be. For you. Without judgement. That is when the world becomes a completely different place. We cant do it all perfectly all of the time, but when we stumble, we learn and we grow.
Life is good. Count your blessings. Show gratitude even for the little things each day. Be kind to one another and yourselves. Anger gets you no where and worry doesnt either. Let go. Surrender. The path will unfold before you. now all you have to do is take a step, and walk.
Namaste
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