Last night i got home and i went to the garage and had a pretty decent arm workout and then went in and played a game for the playstation move and had a hell of a cardio workout with that lol my shirt was soaked with sweat and it felt so great then i took a shower,did some laundry and i was fine all until it was time to go to bed all alone like i do every night now because the wife works from 4pm-4am and i work mornings and we dont hardly see each other at all anymore..... I started to feel very alone and scared last night. My pit bull is starting to get bad arthritis or something so now all she does is cry at night because she cant get up in the bed anymore and she HATES being alone.Three days before my back surgery last year i was forced to put down my best friend in the whole world my dog/my brother of 13 years BOBO because he couldnt walk anymore under his own power and couldnt even control his own bladder and now his sister kitana is getting bad and it hurts so bad and im starting to freak out about that as well on top of everything. Inside im hurting so fuckin bad and nobody seems to understand what is REALLY going on inside my head and at times i dont even understand why i let it get so bad now. But the truth is that wrestling was honest to god the one and ONLY thing that kept me in check and now that its gone for me i cant hang on like i used to. Its scary and frustrating and stupid all at the same time but DAMN IT I LOVE WHAT I DID!!!!! and now.... i cant do anything that i honestly love i HATE the outdoors im not very computer literate and get frustrated with them very easily,i cant swim and have no interest in learning,My only other option would be to bodybuild BUT thats just WWAAAAYYYYYYY to expensive to do and now dangerous for my back so in other words im totally and utterly FUCKED!!!!