I'm finding out that people have suspected I had an eating problem for quite a while now. I finally told my roommate about it because I've been having a hard time hiding my emotions and she knew something was really bothering me. I didn't have to tell her my problem was with food, but she thought I was going anorexic, not bulimic. She really started noticing because I cut out sugary foods due to wanting to always binge on them. I of course love candy and chocolate and when I started saying no to all of it she and another of our friends got suspicious. And then I eat really healthy meals most days, so she saw me eating things like chicken and salad, but not seeing the bigger picture. Anyway, it turns out she and this other friend have been watching me for a while and she just now told me. I wish they had confronted me about it; but then again, I might not have been willing to talk at that point.
Anyway, all this makes me wonder how many other people suspect I have a problem. I was talking with the friend I told first, and asked her to tell me truthfully if I looked underweight. She eventually said yes. Technically my BMI is ok and my weight is ok according to the books, but to others I look to little. I somehow cannot look in the mirror and really know that I'm not fat! It's so frustrating because I can say that I'm skinny and I know it on the surface, but deep down I still think I need to restrict and I can't miss a day of exercise and if I binge I really have to work out. It's crazy how much my brain can trick me....
Thankfully today has been a fairly good day. I was busy so I didn't really have time to binge. Hopefully tomorrow will go well also.