venting

Working night shift is great normally, except when it's slow. That's when I start wanting to just eat because I'm bored and/or tired. I've been doing good the last couple of days/nights because I've been busy and focused on other things. Of course, food is never far from my mind but keeping busy always helps. I'm worried for when I stop working, as after a stretch at work I tend to fall back into my bad habits. Plus, I'm tired, and this is my third 12 hour shift in a row, so I'm going to be pretty tired for the next day or two, which frequently leads to binging - or at least overeating.
I haven't binged over the past couple of days, but I've been restricting and lost a couple pounds. It's so hard to find a good in-between! I feel good because I'm not binging, and I like to lose weight! But I know it can get to the point that I'm underweight and not healthy. As it is, I could probably gain a few pounds and be a better weight; I don't know. It's hard for me to know what a good weight is for me, as I always want to weigh less.... My friends of course say I'm super tiny, but I don't always see myself that way.
Anyway, just wanted to write down my feelings and thoughts. It always helps.