Quite upset...no sleep last night. Probably only a few hours. We had it out last night and although he is not perfect, I am beating myself up about things I said to him that brought this about. Despite what I may have said to upset him, I truly love him and think about him as my future. I know there will be arguments, adjustments and compromises, but I am trying to understand it all. I am not as strong as he is. He's doing just fine, not being bothered at all and I am a mess today. I don't know how I am gong to get through this day, but I have to. I am taking a long weekend for my birthday. I will be suprised if anyone will remember my birthday this year so I am doing something for myself and take off from work to at least get a break from that. I will hopefully snap out of this today. For the last few weeks I have been depressed and this is not like me. If only another human being today would be kind and understand that I am broken and weak and just need a word or encourangement. I am tired of putting n a happy face at work and pretending I am this ball of sunshine. I know not many people read my journal, but it feels good to write it out. Sending my love to whoever needs it.
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