Been away for a week in Houston, Texas for manditory training for my company. They didn't ask us, they just informed us we were going. Normally I love the opportunity to learn something new, but this was a cram session to pump as much information in your head as possible in three days and expect you to pass a difficult exam. My memory can only hold so much. I took the &^%^&% test, but I have no idea if I passed or failed. Houston was awful. I hated driving on the freeways and was scared out of my mind, but I hated NOT driving on the freeways because the roads went through very dangerous-looking neighborhoods and I was terribly frightened. I was miserable the whole time I was there. Scared and alone. When I got home, I just broke down and cried. So thankful to be back home.
I depended on Ray to help me through, but he probably would have rathered I wasn't in such a miserable mood. I am sure one of the reasons he fell in love with me is because I try to have a positive outlook. I get scared sometimes that if I don't remain happy all the time I won't have anyone to care about me. It does seem like often your "friends" abandon you when you are having a bad day. No one wants to be around a pissy person, I guess. Except on DS! 
Even if no one reads this it sure made me feel better.
I am sending my love out to everyone!
Replies
I\'m sorry you had such a bad week. Stbx and I spent a few days in Houston years ago and he almost accepted a job there. I remember telling him that I would be too afraid to drive in that traffic. It was bad then...almost 20 years ago, and I can\'t imagine how bad it must be now.
I feel the same way about trying to be cheerful. I know I\'ve had a really hard time with that the past several years, and actually used to apologize to stbx . I would tell him I knew nobody liked being around someone that\'s depressed all of the time and I actually thanked him for putting up with me. I also lost most of my friends during my marriage, but it makes me wonder if they were really my friends or not.
All we can do is the best we can do.... I\'m sure you did great on the test! Thanks so much for being so sweet and supportive to me! I truly appreciate your friendship. love and hugs, Debbie