I have finally discovered, I have friends.  No not in their a traditional semse but here on daily strength I talk to someone every day someone acknowledges my presents weather it be reading my journal are actually talking to me is something I always wanted.  I realize I will never go out to parties or movies like I once did.  I am very happy and feel very connected.  I have joined a group of e-mail pals who I write to every day.  It isn't the life I expected but it's one I can do with very happily.