Today.

Ok so today, I decided not to go to school. Not because I have a test or a lot of homework to do I actually did all my homework for once in my life, but I am just in one of those "I don't want to do anything today"moods. I tried to sleep in but that didn't work I was just laying down and couldn't fall back to sleep. I think I am really stressing out about things I've done as of lately. got pulled over for running a red light and there was like no way to stop probably cause I was speeding who knows it all happened to fast to even recount. Well thats irrelevant, my first ticket is the most expensive one sucks so bad always setting me back somehow. Then about two nights ago I tried to call and text my ex for reasons I can't even explain I just started to call because I miss her so much just wanted to see how she was doing also if she was happy I guess I really don't know what I would say IF she picked up...she didn't I got no reply and I am stuck just wondering what is wrong with me. So I am left to believe that I am not one to talk to at all. I keep to myself often now, I don't really have any friends that I get along with anymore so it's just me looking at this world alone. I always wonder when I am walking around school if people are talking bad about me how I had a nice life and just straight ruined it doing dumbass shit. I wonder if they say she played me, probably. I wonder if they still think I am a bad drug addict, probably. I haven't given people a reason to believe that I have changed, but I definatly have. Going through life without having anyone to trust is extremly difficult and now I see how hard it is keeping allmy emotions bottled up inside me. The only people I seek refuge from is for my friends on this site who help me out tons. I love getting messages on here because it's not like I get them anywhere else I like it here...