I moved this up to 10% Because I think I can trust some people here, but thats it. I never get to express my feelings outside of here. I kinda picture this as my salvation or an escape of something that scares me like the harsh society of the world. I don't know why I believe this maybe I developed this over time. I am writing a journal because she actually talked to me today, I mean full on talked to me. So this means she dosn't hate me. I can see it in her eyes that she misses me as I miss so much more than she imagines. I miss all the memories we had together the dates and the laughter. Back wayyy before I came to this sight. But I guess the truth is I function my life better when she is by my side. I mean I felt like I was somebody when she talks to me, like I actually exsist. It's a weird feeling but I would love for her to see what I really feel inside, because It haunts be daily, to know that I can't have something that I want so bad. I always picture me with her, I never have with anyone else and I guess if my plans don't work out, which they probably won't because I am to scared to tell her how I feel, I will go to plan B which isn't a plan at all only to run away from everything and everyone I liked and be by myself all alone with no one there. Only myself because thats how I feel without her. and the only thing I want is her to be happy. =[ It sucks to write that, but Plan B is comming up soon. =[