I moved this up to 10% Because I think I can trust some people here, but thats it. I never get to express my feelings outside of here. I kinda picture this as my salvation or an escape of something that scares me like the harsh society of the world. I don't know why I believe this maybe I developed this over time. I am writing a journal because she actually talked to me today, I mean full on talked to me. So this means she dosn't hate me. I can see it in her eyes that she misses me as I miss so much more than she imagines. I miss all the memories we had together the dates and the laughter. Back wayyy before I came to this sight. But I guess the truth is I function my life better when she is by my side. I mean I felt like I was somebody when she talks to me, like I actually exsist. It's a weird feeling but I would love for her to see what I really feel inside, because It haunts be daily, to know that I can't have something that I want so bad. I always picture me with her, I never have with anyone else and I guess if my plans don't work out, which they probably won't because I am to scared to tell her how I feel, I will go to plan B which isn't a plan at all only to run away from everything and everyone I liked and be by myself all alone with no one there. Only myself because thats how I feel without her. and the only thing I want is her to be happy. =[ It sucks to write that, but Plan B is comming up soon. =[
Replies
HEY hey hey hey Pretty Boy.
you can trust me on here, right?
Please don\'t run away Adam Tyler, you\'ll only make it worse for yourself. Do you really think running away will make you miss her less? Wouldn\'t you rather at least see her? Picture never seeing her again. Seriously just picture never talking to her again. You\'re saying how important you feel when you\'re talking to her and when she\'s around you. Would you really want to lose that feeling?
You also say that you see something there in her eyes. You have to tell her. If you see a hint of her missing you, then you know theres some talking that needs to happen between you two. You\'ll regret it Tyler. You\'ll regret it a lot. You\'re already starting to regret it! And honestly just ask yourself whats the worst that can happen. If she\'s mean about it thats just immature and her loss. It\'ll be hard, but at least you know. Would you rather live your life without knowing?
Think about it Tyler.
And...what ever happened about Sunday? I\'ve been waiting for an entry about that. Is it too hard to talk about or something? If it is I\'m sorry I brought it up, just wondering because I\'ve been waiting for it.
Just think about what I said.
pbd you trust me correct?
correct?!
so since your like, an actual friend on here, not just an acquittance that i occasionally say hello to, please don\'t run away.
i mean it.
you can talk to me any fucking time you want, and yeah, i may not respond until i get online, BUT i WILL!
and i care, sooooo yeah, talk to me.
you CAN trust me : ]
and i totally understand about the ds thing. i can only like express my problems and myself really on HERE. i HATE it. this is me, and this the only place i can be me fully. it suuuuuuucks. im dependent on ds. : [ but hey at least there are uber cool kids on it!
EXACTLY what Marley said. I agrees with her.
Here is the thing. She has a boyfriend but that dosn\'t mean anything to me except the fact that he has something over me and it\'s her. And guess what! Today the teacher moved him right next to me I swear he is so gross, He does chewing tobbacco in class and he is just annoying you know? and It dosn\'t bother me except he is dating the girl I care about the most. and it hurts me really bad. I don\'t want to say anything to her because of all I have been through. I still have the bear she gave me and I look at it everyday when I go to sleep and it makes me cry sometimes and It just kills me inside that someone can ruin me that bad. I don\'t know what to do you know? It\'s not that easy to talk to her.
well think about it this way. It\'s high school. Do you really think they\'ll be together for that long? Things like that may not last. Wasn\'t she crying about him? The best thing for you to do right now is to let her know that you\'re always here for her for support. Thats what every girl wants. To know that there is someone like you behind her that will do anything for her. Trust me. I know it\'s hard at first, but it won\'t last.
Yes I know they will last between me and her, because it natural. I just know it is. I can\'t explain it it\'s to much of a weird feeling. I don\'t know maybe I am weird.