Saturday:Ok, so after that friday I woke up on the beach with just nothing but a dead cell phone and a wallet. I had no one to talk to and I felt like the world just ended, There was no one near me and It was still dark outside. I went back to the bench just to start thinking, I just felt so calm watching the waves. After I stayed there for about 2 hours I got hungry and I called a girl from up the street and I picked her up and we went to IHop and had a nice breakfast, then I took her shopping, we had a good time, after I took her home I called my friend and it was about 12 o' clock when I went over there, and got dressed there and we went to this kids house, but by the time I got there he was high and he smelled like alcohol he obviously was drunk, so we called up some girls and went to the beach, So this is my third time going to the beach in three days I am exhusted, so we go and they all decide to go in the water and I just stayed out I have no idea why I choose that over going in but anyway it was a decision that I regret because I met this girl who I didn't know, she just walked up to me and she told me her name, she seemed like a nice person it was just weird that we didn't know each other. So we started walking around the beach and I don't know I kinda had a little feelings for her, she was so cute, then she offers me a ciggerette I took it and this is now my like 5 cigg in two days I feel like I shouldn't be doing this anymore, So I kinda just watch it burn. I guess she was expecting me to do something because she started asking me all these personal questions that really gave off what she wanted from me. I answered honestly but I wanted answers in return. So she invites me to her house and there were people over there. They were absoulutly phychotic they were throwing things around and acting like kids. I stayed away when she introduced me to them. I felt like screaming, I held that in. So I get to her room and there are pictures there of her friends and they were interesting plus her room is gigantic and over-looking the beach she was so rich it is disgusting, plus it also amazes me that she has people throwing stuff around. So she sits on the bed and like a typical guy I sit beside her then when she makes a move somebody knocks on the door so I stop what I am doing and she goes to answer it I am a little nervous because I should have better things to be doing and they arn't getting done. So she comes back and apologizes and I just started to say something to her and the door gets a knock again so by this time I just get up and leave, I leave the house I left the girl and the nice house, I feel dirty in someway. I get to my car and know that she won't follow me or stalk me because I never gave her my phone number, so I wasn't scared of anything bad happening to me, I drive to the beach where my friends are, they are just sitting there asking me questions about who that girl was, plus keep this girl in mind because on sunday night this girl comes and finds me I won't say now because I want you to hear the whole thing, So they ask questions and I answer honestly most of my friends are high anyway so I didn't care if they cared at all, At this time I am extremly tired I am hot and sweaty and tired. It has been a long two days and I decide to get gas and go home, I get home and no one is home, they are in Pasadena doing stuff I have no idea they are never home, but I was surprized my sisters wern't home they were out sitting and eating dinner at a fancy place they like. and I am home alone I feed the dogs and I am back to the road, I drive to the most secluted beach I know of and just wonder why my life is driving in a downward spiral, as I am sitting in my car something strange happens I see that people are on boats shooting guns up in the air and people are like acting crazy I start to just say to myself ok Tyler they won't see you you'll be fine. I am stuck because I don't want to be shot or anything so I start the car and turn around then bingo! Cops right behind me. Wow can this day get any worse? I get pulled over for speeding out of the parking lot when there is guys on a boat shooting stuff. I am miserable at this point Ill write another journal later because there is much more. ok sorry about the trouble. It's a long week. =[

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

wow not the best of days
deleted_user
deleted_user

no not at all, I am surprized people are reading this, I wouldn\'t to be honest It\'s to long, sorry people.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Adam Tyler!! or do I just call you Tyler? I gotta give you major props. You are really really strong. You could have done the bad and typical thing and given in and become like everyone else, stupid and regretful, and in a way, disgraceful. You are one in a million. You even didn\'t do anything with that girl...God I\'m so proud of you. You are really strong. You may not be happy now, but I promise you one day you will be. These are very mature situations that you are handling, and God you\'re handling them so well. I wish I could\'ve been like you when I had the chance. I have a lot of respect for you. Like I said, you may think this is all so terrible now, but just wait. The situation is defiantly gonna turn around, and pretty soon you\'re not gonna be the ones feeling bad, they are. These things lose their shine pretty easily. Trust me. They\'ll get addicted and they\'ll hate it. Tell me 2 smokers that don\'t want to quit. In my entire life, I\'ve only found 1 on this site, and it was some teenager who will regret it later if he hasn\'t already. You\'re an inspiration, Adam Tyler. Whether you know it or not. You\'re doing a great job not giving in, people should learn from you. Stay strong, you\'re really going to make it, you\'ve made it this far.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Uhhh...wow...I really can\'t say that I understand u because I have never been in ur situation however I belive that u should choose ur friends wisely. Trust me ur friends do have a great influence in who u r and in who u will become. Why don\'t u start looking at life from another point? Besides life is only lived once so why waste it. Forget about yesturday and start from scratch and I also know it is easier said than done but thats just the way it is if everybody were to be born in the life they wanted life would be perfect. Everyone has their ups and downs some bad some worse. The main point is that we can\'t let these things get in our way we have to overcome them in order to keep living. Do u have big goals for ur future? If so why don\'t u write them down and use them as a stimulation so that the next time u think life is worthless u have instead something to look forward to? (for example one of my main goals in life is to travel the world so when I am feeling down I remember and think that one day not so far away I will be able to do so). I hope that I have helped. Someway. :) In life we may have ppl who will help us through our hardships but if we don\'t help ourselfs is going to be as if no one was there to help us.
P.S. Why do u hang out with pot heads and alcoholics?
Come on I know u r worth much more. ^^
deleted_user
deleted_user

god youre so amazing.
dear god, are you ok though?
message me okay?
oh dear.