Sometimes I feel like a little kid.  I remember saving cereal box tops to send in for a toy firetruck.  After a few days I had forgotten about it (attentions span of a 5-year old!)  When it did come in the mail I was so excited that something had come for me!When my email alerts me that someone has sent a hug or a personal message I get the same feeling, isn't that wild?I’m going to try to write all of my journal entries in this font and all caps because i know it will help some of those who find it hard to read the mixture of uppercase and lowercase letters.  It would help if i WERE advised as to a color that would also help.someone that i admire here in ds had recommended a book to another person in their journal, i would like to recommend that book here to anyone / everyone.  I know it is not a “christian” authored book and some may discount it because of that.  i’m sorry that you shun the call of wisdom calling in the streets.the book is: “the four agreements” by ruiz.  if you are free of false religious bondage i think this book will empower who ever reads it to begin the process of recovering themselves.  if you have the courage to become who you were always intended to be then in my opinion this is a must read book.if i have a “spiritual fear” it is not becoming who i was ment to become.  i think that to be a great disappoinment to who ever i believe created me.  i cannot grasp the idea of a created being not created with intent or purpose.i think of being asked; “why didn’t you become you?” as a question that creates thoughts of the ultimate failure or the ultimate success.facing what i had become (heading for that failure) in comparison to what i was to become (heading for that success) had been the most difficult thing i have ever done.  some of the causes that directed me to not be me were things that i had no power over, choices made by someone else.  i have learned, though, that i do have the choice to determine how i process and overcome those events.the book “the four agreements” are about personal and internally moral choices that i make with me.  The results are that i am becoming valuable to me.  It has and is helping me to recover my personal integrity, honor and human nobility.  I am becoming my best.if i were to equate that to what i offer up as an offering to that which i believe in then it is the difference in offering dried up onion skins to precious gold or silver.  offering who i was previously becoming versus who i was intended to be.if i WERE to call myself a christian then i would see the parallel to what jesus offered.  he offered who he was intended to become instead of what the people around him wanted to make him into.  the result is that he offered himself as his best.  he bacame genuinly himself so that he would have an offering of great value and worth. if i were to call my an athiest i would still apply myself to the same process because i would be committed to my own conscious.  I would not dishonor myself by continuing the path i was on because it would be dishonest to me.  to recover my true and original being would be my highest goal for myself and i know that it would produce rich and worthy consequences not only for myself but for those who i come into contact with.  me becoming me is then a win - win situation.