Again...

I went back...in May. Things seemed great and like it was going to work out again but lately I had found myself totally dependent on him again. It wasn't ok when i was out with friends but the days he had plans and didn't want me along, I was needy for asking for his time. 
It got to the point where I couldn't handle the days I didn't see him and was so depressed that I had to end it. 
This time I don't know if it was abuse or whether I was truly just completely childish and needy and emotionally broken. Now I am really alone, I'm moving back home to seattle where all my friends and family are but that can't happen until May, as I have graduate school to finish.
He told me during the fight that ended it that I wasn't a friend and that I never trusted him and people who truly love people don't accuse them of lying etc. Maybe he was right. I feel now more than ever that I am someone who depends on others to feel good. Because right now I just want to hide and sleep. I want to call him and have him hug me again but I know things will never ever ever be good with us. 
I have never had this experience with any other friend, boyfriend, or family member. I get along with everyone so well, so what happened here? And why is it making me so depressed? Im usually so reasonable and I don't like who I have become. 
Feeling hopeless and lonely right now.