Day 1

Day 1 here on the site.  I have hs.  I have had this for 20 years.  No one (doctors) know how to treat this or even minimize the condition.  I feel that this is some form of demonic possession on my body.  The devil can not stand how good and God fearing I am so he has put this on my body to try and pull me away from the Lord.  
'It' started on my bottom.  I found a way to make them go away or heal quickly when they did come.  Then it moved to the bottom of my stomach.  This was the most painful thing ever!!!  The doctors would cut them open and would almost faint from the pain.  I lost my lunch a few times in the middle of the 'procedures', like they don't know how painful something like 'this' is???  Next 'it' moved to my underarms.......again, the most painful thing ever!  Now, 'it' is has moved to my breast.  I have them in my bikini area, under arms, and now, one on my breast!
Ok, I guess it is time to see a doctor and get some antibiotics.  I have been nauseated for 2 days now with diarrhea.  The boil has burst on my breast............I have a hole in the side of my breast that is absolutely horrible looking.  'It's' now on my breast!!!!  How did this happen????
There's no one I want to share this with in my life.  I hate the fact that this is happening to me.  I wish and pray that I could find a cure.  I would never charge anyone for this cure and would never tell anyone what the cure is so that they could not sell it for a profit or any type of gain.  This is my silent prayer.  Is God listening?  Or am I being punished for something that I had done?  I am beginning to hate this life living with this disease.  I can not share it with anyone for fear that they would look at me like the monster that I am.  Shared this secret with someone I was dating about 6 years ago........it ended when he kept asking me if I have HERPES because of the bumps!!!  Single for 4 years........lonely.  Dated that ex again for about 8 months before I had found out that he was cheating.  Single again now for 2 1/2 years.  I have given up.  Is God listening to my heart through my tears?  I know that things could be worse......I just want to be normal.