Today is March 3rd. It will be 3 weeks this monday since the light of my life passed away and I stumble through each day still hoping that I'm in some terrible nightmare.
I know it's all too real though and I know that anyone who reads this has an understanding of where I am right now. We had our ups and downs as all marraiges do but we were in a great place now and were looking forward to moving out to the country shortly and getting on with the next chapter of our lives. About 6 months ago my wife picked out a dog for us and she loved her. Now I am left with the dog and don't have the heart to give her away becuse I truly don't believe my wife would want that. It's an extra burden I don't need now but it does get me out for awhile every day or I would probably just lie here day in and day out. When we're in the park and the dog does something funny the first thing I think of is that "I'll have to let sharon know what she just did", but I can't let her know and never will be able to ler know.
I don't want to see people or hear any more condolences from those who mean well. One of her friends has been getting on my nerves and keeps phoning to see how I'm doing and to tell me to make sure I get out each day and if there's anything she can do, etc... The extent of her pain is "she lost her best friend" and while that is painful, I have lost friends and it in no way compares to the loss I feel now. People mean well but right now I just want my privacy.
I am glad I found this site because I can see that people here can actually understand what I'm going through because the only way to understand something is experience it first hand. This is something that no one should have to experience first hand.
The one positive thing that has come into this so far is that I'm no longer afraid of death and whatever it brings, hopefully it will bring me back to her.
It's my oldest daughter's birthday on March 10th and she and my wife were supposed to go out clothes shopping for her birthday. Now it will just be the two of us and I think it will be a an empty experience of just going through the motions.
I know it's all too real though and I know that anyone who reads this has an understanding of where I am right now. We had our ups and downs as all marraiges do but we were in a great place now and were looking forward to moving out to the country shortly and getting on with the next chapter of our lives. About 6 months ago my wife picked out a dog for us and she loved her. Now I am left with the dog and don't have the heart to give her away becuse I truly don't believe my wife would want that. It's an extra burden I don't need now but it does get me out for awhile every day or I would probably just lie here day in and day out. When we're in the park and the dog does something funny the first thing I think of is that "I'll have to let sharon know what she just did", but I can't let her know and never will be able to ler know.
I don't want to see people or hear any more condolences from those who mean well. One of her friends has been getting on my nerves and keeps phoning to see how I'm doing and to tell me to make sure I get out each day and if there's anything she can do, etc... The extent of her pain is "she lost her best friend" and while that is painful, I have lost friends and it in no way compares to the loss I feel now. People mean well but right now I just want my privacy.
I am glad I found this site because I can see that people here can actually understand what I'm going through because the only way to understand something is experience it first hand. This is something that no one should have to experience first hand.
The one positive thing that has come into this so far is that I'm no longer afraid of death and whatever it brings, hopefully it will bring me back to her.
It's my oldest daughter's birthday on March 10th and she and my wife were supposed to go out clothes shopping for her birthday. Now it will just be the two of us and I think it will be a an empty experience of just going through the motions.
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