17 Days until Surgery

My bad this weekend!  I'm enjoying my last suppers which is apropos given it's Easter.  I realised today that I will have to give up my Tim Horton's coffee after Tuesday night since I'm a triple triple with sweetener kinda gal.  It's probably a very good thing that weaning off my meds has made my tummy somewhat nauseated most days and I'm really kind of 'off' on coffee. Good thing I've labeled this entry as rambling - not sure anyone can read that last sentence and make sense of it lol
I'm getting excited and scared.  Not the backing out kind of scared.  Just the 'can i really do this?'.  I know that I can.  I know I have the strength; I did do Atkins Induction for 2 years...it was just 'real' eating that was hard and then having to go back to Induction.  Since meeting my nutritionist, the most wonderful thing has been eating *all* fruits and vegetables and savouring the tastes. 
Another part of the scared, has been thinking about the possibility of being that 1 in 200 person who dies.  Thinking about my 14 y.o. daughter (who has already been 'dumped' by her father - long story, don' t ask) without me freaks me right out to tears.  I have a wonderful husband who loves her and parents who adore her; she would be well taken care of but that's not the point.  She even said to me the other night, when we were having a bedtime girl chat, 'don't die. okay?'  I laugh it off and tell her, if I go, she will have to do all her own laundry and help so much more with the house; I got the evil eye lol.  she proceeded to tell me that if I die and get a choice, that I have to come back.  I told her not to worry, it's not going to happen.  But I do worry.  I was happy to find some stats on here yesterday that said the odds had gone up/down (?) to 1 in a 1000 and it is comorbidities associated with morbid obesity that are the problem, not the surgery per se.  So Rational Me is fine.
I'm thinking about this surgery as an opportunity for a sabbatical (and the weather had darn well smarten up!!) to focus on my writing along with my sipping and walking and resting and sipping and walking.  If I want to be a published author, I have to make a concerted effort and this is one of those rare opportunities for focusing on me.
Which reminds me, I made an appointment for one week after surgery to have my eyes tested for Lasik.  I want to wake up and be able to see.  I've been near-sighted since I was 9.  I'm practically blind without glasses/contacts.
It's a good thing my husband and I already worked through the jealousy thing when I did my last big Atkins push and was down to a svelte size 9-10.  With weight loss surgery and lasik, I'm sure we would have a major marital melt-down otherwise.  He is very supportive of the surgery and he knows what I will look like and that I love him.  He is happy that my health problems will be getting better and that I will be off meds. 
Told you this would be rambling!! LOL