17/3/13

Today I joined this group in hopes of me making myself feel better to better cope with my husband and it seems like everything that I have done is now back firing on me. He was doing his normal ritual of checking my emails and he noticed that I changed my password. I explained to him I did that because I don't want him to read what I am discussing in this group because I know he would take it the wrong way, just like he did before. One night I couldn't sleep and decided to get my emotions out and I started typing away. When he came over he found it and read it then turned around and got mad with me because I what I had put. I never once talked bad about him in there I simply was getting my thoughts on 'paper' because I don't want to talk to anyone about him. I mean he was livid, so I know he would be more furious knowing I joined this group. Anyway, I told him I want to delete the emails that were sent to my inbox first before I give him the password, but he doesn't believe me and is now upset. This is so unfair, because I never get to deal with me. I'm always doing things for others, being there for them and swallowing my feelings. Why can't I just have this for me and its always about everyone else.