Saw my doctor today. My mood swings are coming fast and hard. I will cry for about 15 seconds - not enough time for even a tear to fall....needing the release....the well dries up. Then I am hypomanic....a creative burst - must make some changes to the bathroom - "Oh, this picture would look great!" - then 30 mins later...a crash. My Doctor is taking me off of Trileptal and Restoril. Both are not working. We are staying the course with the Lamictal - too soon to tell - will not increase to 100mgs for a few more days. Back to Klonopin for sleep with a 15mg Restoril kicker. We MAY try Wellbutrim with the Lamictal in a few weeks. The big fight will be getting into a Day Treatment Program here in NYC. I have a call out to one - seems to be a good fit as they only let in once "high functioning" or "the potential to be high functioning" patients. I am feeling too miserable to get out the door in the morning...but I have to if I want my life back. I have a feeling this will take at least 2 more months before I am even ready to think about work (I pray my dream job is still there for me when my body and mind are ready to return). My doctor reminds me that I will land on my feet and that I am too good not to. (Kind words). Tonight I will battle my nerves and try to be in bed by 12:00am.
Replies
Seemingly random fluctuations is a hard road to walk. I can feel your frustration over this and empathize. For different reasons I experienced something very similar. I still have moments while I know why they\'re coming it still feels very frustrating, even infuriating.
Believe you will land on your feet and you will. I have a couple of friends who have dealt with depression their whole lives. Both of them have been on a variety of meds and now are on Welbutrin and feel great with relatively few side-effects.
Try not to look at the whole picture, it\'s too big and overwhelming. Just take your mental health 1 day at a time, sometimes moment to moment. Give the med\'s time to try and work and be active in your therapy and with your pdoc regarding meds. You will get better, it will take time but you will get there. luv ya - michelle