Wow.  Yesterday's service was beautiful. The crematorium was full to bursting, with people standing at the back. There were even people outside who could not get in. It was a spiritualist service, as this was Gareth's belief. The music chosen by his family was very fitting - all songs that reminded them of good times they had spent together. His oldest friend Karen read an amazing eulogy. I don't know how she managed, but Gareth would have been very proud.  His Mum and Dad and his sister had written messages to Gareth that the Minister read out.  In his sister's message, she had asked her children about their favourite memories of their Uncle Gareth.  And her daughter had asked her whether Uncle Gareth was in Northampton heaven or Wellingborough heaven.  So innocent... The weather was lovely - warm, sunny and clear blue skies. It was difficult to say goodbye, but it was a mixture of sadness and a few smiles. I think he would have approved. I'm allowing myself to feel OK.  I haven't convinced myself that Gareth is really gone yet, despite being at his funeral and seeing all the devestation.  Will it ever be real to me?  I really don't know.  Time will tell.  Anyhow, onwards and upwards...the challenge now begins to organise a black tie gala evening to raise money for the charity that helped him and also to celebrate his 30th birthday...roll on 18th October 2008!!