Better
I'm better today. I risked the sarcastic secretary's wrath and called in sick. I imagine they'll survive. I went to grief group last night and cried for two solid hours. I have two friends who go and the whole group is rapidly becoming my support system. I need to think through decisions about work. I hate to leave the school and especially the kids, in the lurch but on the other hand I don't want to develop any more resentments or get (if possible) tireder. I really appreciate all who commented. I am not in a public school. We do not have a union. They feel the answers to all my problems are ask for more faith and trust God. Actually, I do have faith and trust God, believing that I'll see my darling again and that he is well and happy now, but I miss him like crazy. That's the problem. I guess they don't get that. It is good to have friends here on DS that actually "get it." I am just going to ask God for the courage to do the next right thing and keep going. That will be my demonstration of trust. I honestly don't think calling in two daysin two years is excessive. I know why they're mad. I have a boatload of students.
Replies
Two days in 2 years - I\'d say that is a great record. If you feel emotionally unable to deal with the rest of the school yr. - then I\'d put myself first. If you had died instead of your spouse, they would have had to replace you and the kids would have survived. This didn\'t happen, but you are not up to par and apparently it is very hard for you to continue right now. So I do think God will guide you in your decision of you trust Him to do so.
Wishing you peace - Doye
You said it all when you say \"they don\'t get it.\" They truly don\'t and there is no way they can until they have been through it. I know how awful it is to have to make decisions so soon after this loss. I also have faith and trust in God. I believe 100% that He is in charge and knows what is best for me. He has proven over and over that He will take care of me and I believe that. I know I am lacking in all areas, but I don\'t think even God\'s most faithful servant could go through this without pain, agony, and despair. I think they are wrong when they believe the answer to all your problems is simply more trust and faith in God. But I think you are perfectly right for asking God for the courage to do the right thing and keep going.
Wishing you peace and comfort
I agree you need to think of yourself right now. Do what you feel is right for you. Thinking and praying for you, Lu Ann