Anger

I was so angry at school today. I hurt so bad and I have done all my work in a timely manner since James died. I went in right in the day after he died and picked up my semester tests and graded them and got the grades all entered but they are so mean. I am not doing a great job like I was doing because I am so tired and sad and confused. I just lack the drive to do like I did. I work in  a religious school and the total goal seems to be to look religious, not kind, and I am so tired. They have been sarcastic to me when I called in sick one time over the last year and a half. I teach about 70% of the foreign language students in the school but of the two other language teachers one is the religion department chair's daughter and the other is really young, cute and whiny. So guess who looks bad. I have asked for a replacement and they just ignore me. I still have to organize a memorial service in May and it just feels impossible. I feel like there isn't any help or understanding in the world. I feel like an abandoned two year old. Now I know my husband would never have willinglt abandoned me and I know God is always with me, even though I am NOT religious (and don't want to be!), but it hurts so much today. How do other people deal with work after their husband's death?