Anger
I was so angry at school today. I hurt so bad and I have done all my work in a timely manner since James died. I went in right in the day after he died and picked up my semester tests and graded them and got the grades all entered but they are so mean. I am not doing a great job like I was doing because I am so tired and sad and confused. I just lack the drive to do like I did. I work in a religious school and the total goal seems to be to look religious, not kind, and I am so tired. They have been sarcastic to me when I called in sick one time over the last year and a half. I teach about 70% of the foreign language students in the school but of the two other language teachers one is the religion department chair's daughter and the other is really young, cute and whiny. So guess who looks bad. I have asked for a replacement and they just ignore me. I still have to organize a memorial service in May and it just feels impossible. I feel like there isn't any help or understanding in the world. I feel like an abandoned two year old. Now I know my husband would never have willinglt abandoned me and I know God is always with me, even though I am NOT religious (and don't want to be!), but it hurts so much today. How do other people deal with work after their husband's death?
Replies
So sorry you are having this hard time at work. I can\'t offer advice, because I was retired before my husband became ill. I am sure it is very hard to work under the best of circumstances when one is newly widowed. Do you have a family member who can help you with the memorial service arrangements? If you just have a conversation with someone close to you and discuss what you would like to include in the service, perhaps they can give you some suggestions also. You could do this soon and begin making an outline to think about and re-work before the deadline is close. Even a friend could offer ideas if there is no family member you want to discuss it with. You don\'t have to use anyone\'s ideas but your own, but sometimes having different ideas and options can help us make decisions. You can also probably find suggested programs/ideas from a funeral home, a library, or online.
Hugs,
Doye
I am so sorry that you are having such a hard time at work. They need to be more helpful to you at this time in your life. I can\'t say that I understand where you are at with this. My school has been wonderful to me. I did not go back for 6 weeks and then I took a day off every week the first month. They told me to do whatever I needed to do to get by. I have thanked them every day. I am so sorry that you do not have understanding bosses. Hugs, Dawn
Thank you guys, I guess I just need to set limits as to what I will or will not do at school. I am thinking of quitting at the end of the quarter. I have asked since January for my boss to find a replacement. He asked one girl at school but she said my job was too much work.