Well I'm a little hung over today. I had a party last night with some friends for my birthday. It was actually really nice to have some fun and forget about everything for a while. my best friend had to bring her baby over because she couldn't get a babysitter for him which is fine because he is so cute but its still hard for me to be around him sometimes. I'll look at him and just want to cry. Is that bad? I feel like i'm being selfish and self centered when I let it get to me. I just always feel like it should be me with the baby we've been trying for so long now. We had been trying long before my friend got pregnant and she tried for one month and it happened just like that. The worst was when she was pregnant and I saw her going through all the stages and here I was still trying so hard. Oh well thats just the way it is. No matter how hard I try I can't change this. I have dreams about being pregnant and babies all the time and I keep wondering if its some kind of sign that its going to happen soon or that I just think about it way too much! I hope that all this will be worth it in the end. If IVF doesn't work the first time I don't know if I could do it again. I hope you all are having a good weekend. Its a long weekend here in Canada! Hugs to you all.
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Oh Heather, I so totally understand. It\'s not bad and you\'re not selfish. But you can\'t help those feelings. I felt the same way, and still do, with my best friends. It was so hard watching them get pregnant so easily. Having beautiful children. I even missed one of my very best friend\'s children\'s birthday party. I just couldn\'t do it. All of our friends with children were attending. And I\'m the only childless one. It can be so so hard. And sometimes they are so very happy, that it Never even occurs to them how hard it can be on us. I\'m glad you partied the day before. I would love to. Feel better soon and I think your dreams are a sign of something you want so much. I say that because I have those dreams too.