just thinking

i like to read on carl jung.  i like his ideas about two selves.  i believe that.  i think there is the child and then the adult.  the adolescences is the transitional period.  when something like molestation happens to us in a childhood it feels like it impedes our growth.  we get stuck.  you grow into this man-child.  i fill like a war is going on inside of me at times.  sometimes especially when i am stressed it seems like it could be more than two of.  actually when i was depressed i felt like there was more than two of me but i think that was wrong.  i was watching an awful a lot of tv.  i think i start to live in these imafinary worlds based off of the shows and characters i attached myself to.  but i came to realize i feel just two of me.  i feel the child still afraid/scared and then the adult me who is trying to be responsible man.  i notice the child when i experience triggers.  i don't catch the triggers fast enough yet.  so the child reacts.  i get emotional.  it doesn't last as long as it did before the yoga and meditation.  i read and do my home work.  i am learning to step back when something concerning comes my way, look at it, acknowledge it, and then see what i can do about it.  it is a process.