i find myself attracted to guys that remind me of my uncle.  i fantasize about them more than i may let something happen.  sometimes i think i let things happen so i can fight back-i did not have the chance to fight off my uncle.  i'm attracted to women, but i don't have the courage to approach them.  i'm angry a lot--i don't think that's healthy when you're trying to impress someone and get to know them. Saturdays are my days to do what I like, but it can be very lonely if I don't have anyhting planned.  all kinds of thoughts fill my head and i get depressed.  i know i shou;d call on friends.  i don't have many--I ran them away.  lol  it is amazing how your surviving techniques can hurt you as you grow up--they become bad habits.I get scared of myself because I feel this rage inside of me at times.  I'm working at dissipating this rage--it's hard.