i get on a phone chat line and ask guys if i can perform oral sex on them.  i never go thru with  it -- atleast not right now.  my uncle would have me perform oral sex on him and sometimes his friends.  the guys on the phone would ask to meet me to meet them and i never do.  i ask them all these personal questions (screening): what do they look like and their penis size.  i guess i get them excited that we might meet and then i stop talking to them on the phone after i get my information.  i needed to get that off my chest.  i would like to tell my therapist.  i think one of the reasons why i won't go thru with it is because i don't want to meet someone that may hurt me.  i don't like it that i have these urges -- i did not like it when i had to perform oral sex on my uncle.