I'm really irritable tonight, I don't know why. I'm hot, then I'm cold, its one of those stuffy nights. I can't sit still, I tried to go to bed but I can't get comfortable. I'm in an enormous amount of pain with my  back and nothing seems to be easing it.I've taken my pain killers, tried heat spray, heat pads and all that's left is a hot water bottle but it's too hot for me to even think about that just now.I really want to sleep. I know if I sleep I'll feel a million times better. The longer I stay awake the longer I'm fighting the urge to cut. The  more today's gone on the stronger the urge has become, I've been reading lots to try and take it away, I tried to watch tv but can't concentrate.Today I've tried reading 4 different books, I think I'm still slightly manic although nowhere near the extent I was last week. I wrote a bit more of my book today. I'm really pleased with the way its coming along, I don't know if its any good to read but I'm enjoying writing it