I'm just so tired today. I managed an early-ish night last night and actually slept for 5 hours without waking up which is a start.  I knew physio would tire me out but I didn't really do much today. We discussed the areas of pain, the type of exercises I may benefit from etc, and did a few things to help my back and neck. Help? I don't know about that I can hardly even sit up just now! The physio also thinks it would be a good idea for me to start wearing a splint, I think she called it a foot drop splint. My foot turns inwards because I have no feeling or control over it. They're worried if it stays in this position for much longer then  it's going to do me some permanent damage. I'm really worried about tomorrow too. I came to the decision last night that I actually think I need a short stay in hosptial. Whether or not I admit to that tomorrow is a different thing. I feel I need to be honest tomorrow and tell them about how many times I have cut myself in the past 2 weeks. It's hard enough admitting it to myself so I have no idea how I'm going to tell them. I know it's the only way I'll get better. I'm now wondering though if it's possible for me to ever get better. Since yesterday when my mum told me that depression doesn't exisit and that of course it's all my plot to seek attention, I sat and thought about it. I thought about all the things I've been through in the past few years to get to where I am now. I actually started to believe that it's all a ploy for attention, then I remembered just how low I have actually  been. Surely even subconciously attempting suicide is more than just a ploy for attention? I don't know anymore. I think hospital would do me good, whether or not I can admit that tomorrow is a different thing. I have the whole day at home alone to think about it and to decide what I'm going to say to them. I think though, it's finally time they heard the truth.