Meh. That totally sums up the rest of my day. So this morning I was full of beans and enjoying some time alone with my thoughts and genearlly feeling pretty good. Now I'm in pain. I ache from head to toe. My best friend has fibro and once told me her hair hurt. I found this a really odd thing, but now my hair hurts. I feel like I'm totally falling to pieces.  I don't want to go see the surgeon tomorrow. I'm scared. I feel sick. Really sick. What if they decide they can't do anything for me?  I don't want to be that woman we went school/college/uni/once  worked with who's in a wheelchair. I feel I'm losing my identity. I've just given up on me this afternoon. I don't feel like talking to anyone and that's not like me. I've been avoiding the door and the phone and just sat playing games on my phone. Its not even a real game just like match the colours. It's mind numbing.  I can't stop the urge to cut. I know if I tell someone they'll come stop me. If I keep it to myself then noone will know. I'm fed up of being that freak. I want to be a person again