Have you ever wondered just how much we take people for granted?I don't really like my mother, we're not close and we don't really get on. But without her what sort of person would I be?Earlier this evening I recieved a call to say my mum had a heart attack. This is the third since the summer. Now my family aren't the type to communicate. When asked if it was bad, should I come to the hospital etc, I was told not to worry they were sure I had better things to do.Now part of me is angry, angry at my mum for being ill, angry at my family for treating me this way, the other part of me is sad. No matter how much I don't like my mum I still love her. She does some very small things that make my life easier. She minds my son one night a week so I can go to uni and better myself. Every now and then she'll have him over night too, so I get a break.I've come to see how much I've taken her for granted. I always just assumed mum would pick him up on a Monday, if I need a sitter I call mum and dad......Now what? Am I selfish for being angry at my mum? Should I be in floods of tears and rushing down to be by her side?I don't know how I'm supposed to feel. Now it is almost 4.30am. I haven't been able to sleep through worry. I don't want to wake anyone else up to worry them. I've just been sat here with my thoughts.Thinking of my mother has made me think of my own parenting skills, how many of those have I got from my own parents? How have I treated my son badly? Will he resent me for things when he's older as I have my mother?As much as I don't like her, my heart is breaking. I'm so worried something bad will happen. I still don't know how ill she is. No one will tell me. I have to wait until the morning when I can try calling someone again or just going straight over the hospital. Right now I just want someone to hold me and tell me it will be ok. For someone to know the outcome. For everything in the past few weeks to all have been in a dream.If you have a spare minute today, please pray for my mum and my family
Replies
hugz to you. i know how you feel about not knowing how to feel. when my father had his first heart attack, i did not know how to react cuz i am not particularly fond of him either. i did do the traditional going to the hospital thing but emotionally i had nada.
*hugs*
Abba Father we come into the Most Holy Place and into Your heart. We come asking You to bring Your balance into this precious family. I ask that You show Regina how You see her Mother and show her Mother how you see Regina. We ask that You lay Your Holy hand on her Mother and let your healing hand touch her heart and life. We ask that You bring reconcilation to this Mother and Daughter. Lord I remember just two years ago that my own daughters turned their back on me and rebelled and was so angry at me and I didn\'t know why until You showed me my mistakes and that I was so in the wrong on so many things. I was still treating them like children when they were grown women. Abba Father just as you lovingly showed me where I needed to make changes in my life in order to have a great relationship with my daughters I ask that You do the same for them. I am so deeply grateful that my daguthers gave me another chance to show them love and grace and that you restored us to better than before. Please bring Your peace and grace and truth to this situation. I declare Your Soveienty and Your power over the Mother and the Daughter and speak peace to the hearts of both of them. We ask these things in the name of Jesus our Loving Savior. Amen and Amen My sister adn her daugther are both BiPolar adn they get into it a lot but they end up making up. I will continue to pray. Blessings, Angelunaware
Hon go to her, it is what you would want her to do for you. She is your mom for good or bad.
oh i\'m so sorry honey. you should be with her, make things up it\'ll make you both feel a lot better x