Blah blah blah.That's how my life feels right now. I've had a pretty good week apart from a nightmare appointment with my psychiatrist who is hell bent on giving me a new diagnosis. It started back a few months earlier when he again tried to tell me I have CFS, I don't I have bipolar and am pretty depressed, that is why I don't want to get out of bed and can't sleep and feel pain. Then he decided I suffer with too much mania, therefore I'm bipolar I,  so why have I spent 10 years with a diagnosis of bpII from numerous doctors? His latests is I must be schizoaffective. I don't feel I am, I feel he's just trying to make himself look good. He's relatively new and seems to be trying to rearrange everything. I don't like it.I'm a wee bit excited yet anxious today. I have 2 friends coming to stay, friends that I adore, friends that take me for me, even if I am a wee bit nuts. I'm so worried about the state of my house. I've been so down yet so high for the past few weeks that I honestly haven't lifted a finger. My washing was piled up, my bathroom is a disgrace, my bedroom well lets not go there....I know they aren't coming to see my house and wont judge me on what they find but I just feel bad about it. I've got into a horrible cycle, I get down and haven't got the energy to clean, yet I see the state of my house and think oh I'd feel better if it was tidy.I can't believe just how worked up I am. It's like there's so much to do and no time. I'm taking time out just now to sit down and gather my thoughts. I've been awake most of the night with a kidney infection so I'm tired and  have no energy. I just wanted everything to be right for once.