Sigh

Just an update. Last night I had strong thoughts of suicide. I don't really even know why, things and better than usual. I decided that things were never going to get better and I had screwed up my life forever via SI and anorexia. Truth is I am going to have to live with the pain of that the rest of my life and that makes things unbearable. I ended up just getting tired and going to bed. I felt better this morning which is good. Now I don't really know where I stand with that whole thing but I don't really want to deal with it right now. I know I am just swallowing things again but this I think is best swallowed because I know that if I think on it again I will just confirm what I already know (I will have to deal with that stuff for the rest of my life and that makes it unbearable there for the rest of my life will be shit) Oh also on a fun happy side note (if anyone really gives a crap) I lost my faith in God last night as well. FML

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

dude I\'m sorry. I\'ve definitely had and acted on my thoughts of suicide and I never want to be there again. But don\'t worry hopefully everything will get. Better. I wish I could say something that actually means something but I\'m not really in a position right now to give anyone any advice considering I cut myself today and I was three weeks strong. I hope you realize how valuable your life truly is!! We all love you here and we don\'t want you to go away. We would all miss you way too much. You\'re an awesome person and this is just a tough chapter of your life and every chapter has an end and that end is a new beginning. Yeah I know sheesy right?? But it\'s so true. I live by that right now. Good luck!! We love you!!
smallgirl3
smallgirl3

im just glad ur ok. sorry i was fucked up last night.