Update

Sorry I haven't journaled in a while. Well I am really ashamed about cutting again. It took me a while to tell even the closest of my friends. I was doing so well. I am not really sure what to think of this but part of me doesn't really care. So what I cut again, I will probably do it again to. What is the big deal? I don't care all tat much about the scars and I am careful not to cut to deep. It is to painful sitting here trying to keep myself from doing it and cutting takes the pain away. I am happier when I am cutting. I am only ashamed because I let my friends down. They put so much faith in me that I could stop and I let them down. I upset them and that hurts. I wish I had never cut. I wish that I didn't let my life get this bad. I shoved it all down and said I would deal with it later now there is to much to deal with. I am the reason things suck and I am the reason for my friends worry. For this, I hate myself.