I need a new lifestyle. A new way of thinking. I need a new fucking room and a new life while I am at it. A couple of nights everything has snuck up on me all at once and I didn't knw how to get myself safe and out of the place it had took me..so I rang one of the numbers the hospital gave me. This lady answered. The lady is the same one thats dealing with my case or whatever its called. She started off by saying "oh Mahala, I am so glad you called" so I was like okay...I said I feel so slow and low and she said "have you taken any medication Mahala, any at all?""no""are you sure Mahala""yes""so whats wrong Mahala""I feel unsafe and I feel so slow and low, I don't know what to do""have you hurt yourself Mahala""no""are you home alone""yes""why arent you at school""I ditched it, i feel sick, couldnt concentrate""Mahala, does someone know where you are""yes, theoffice rang my mother""oh mahala that was a very smart thing to do, well done you for letting someone know where you are cos now they are not going to worry about you""yeah...""So mahala we need to figure out a way of distracting your thoughts, what do you like to do""uhh I like to write, but I cant at the moment because I get frustrated, I like to watch movies, walk around, drive and read""oh great mahala, whats your favoutrite movie""pan's labyrinth""and how long does that go for? about two hours? okay so that will take you till 11...then what will you do mahala?""uhhm try and write..""oh what a star mahala, you are so smart for figuring this out by yourself, do you feel like hurting yourself?""uhh no""Mahala, let me check my diary and okay will you ring me back at 3pm please""umm okay..then..""oh great mahala! (she was so over enthusiastic it made me sick) well I am so glad you rang and I think you are such a star for figuring all this out" OMG my point of ringing was to try and get some hel because I know what is going on inside my head isn't normal. my fffing car talks to me now. I sprint from my car to my bedroom because Satan chases me and I still sleep with thr light and radio on. so when I hung up the phone I cut all my hair off and cut my thigh, oh and I cried even more. I think it was more like howling, that phone call to that lady made me feel so hopeless. I am not a five year old. And I have to go see these idiots and be 'assessed' by them next month. I really dont want to go but Rick told me that they will call the cops on me. Once again I am stuck.