I want to crawl up and die. I don't care that people say beat this by being active etc. I was depressed before and so I got out of my room, worked more hours went to school regularily and stopped glue. I excersiezed and lost weight. Now I have gained some and people say I look thin. I am not thin. I never will be. I just purged and am so angry because I didn't egt it all out. holy fff I am trapped. Suicide is on my mind. It seems so simple to slip away. I wonder what has been stopping me, I am a coward yeah but theres something else. I think it is just because I am a total looser. I lose at everything. when I was trying to win I didn't even win. I want to be invisible. I want to be thin.