So I played 4 games of polo all day. at least I didnt have to spend it at work. Mom and I fought on the way here and on the way home. I felt so weak at polo. And in between games all I could do was let myself get cold and try and sleep. Even the sun didnt warm me. The team excluded me quite a bit..and since we no longer have margaret it was extreemly power hungry..I just wanted to write poetry all day, it would of been happy poetry too. And I had 3 apples and some chips and a juice..and I came home and I had a tiny teddies..My stomach still screams from when I was rammed in the stomach. I feel like such a loser. I am a loser. I know glue is bad..but theres this thing telling me to buy some. so when I was at the supermarket I got some..and I got worked up after a game and started hyperventilating..I went into the toilets and had some fucking glue. I know its bad. They have told me that, I have told myself this 100 times over..but Its the only thing that makes it all go away. But, something good did happen today. I was playing my last game of polo and I was going real hardout and we were doing quite well and the ball was down the other end and I felt like cutting my arms off from the pain then Esther yelled out and cheered for me and the pool went silent and it was like I was ready to go again. We ended up loosing by two points I think, but I don't care. Thanks for that Esther.