Day 5

I don't know if I can still count the days..I had my head in a bag for 3 hours..It was torture waiting for Dad to go to work..he left at about 11 and I spent till then in bed..Instantly the releif I felt..maybe it was releif..but before I knew it my lips were numb and I said to myself you can still stop this..but I didn't. I wanted it so bad. I was hoping I black out with my head still in the bag and I'd die  without even realising.  I have no hunger. I have just cut about 10 cms off my hair..I posted a photo..I am sorry Em, I just couldnt help it.  I argued with mom and ended up being 2 hours for polo..without a towel or anyting..Um yeah, I got into a boat for the first time in a year. It was crap. Sarah didnt even want to involve me when shes the one asking me to join the team again. Fuck them all. I really don't care about anything anymore.