I am a fucking faliure. Can't do anything right. Can't even  get myself high tonight. maybe I am being paranoid but the lady at the shop where I buy my glue from didn't re stack the shelves so my glue wasn't there and ugh so I brought the next best thing and now I can't even get fucking high. I got some on my lip and now it took the skin off my lip. God it burtn my throat tonight. I can't do anything right. Can't even fucking tell Ryan the truth. Can't tell anyone the truth. Im gunna cut the skin off my thigh till all I see is red. I don't care anymore. nothing was ever real. He said I needa get angry well I am angry but angry at myself because I couldn't even get myself high! I dont know what to do! ugh. I'm not in the right body. I dont have the right mind. I just want to cry. not want to actually. It feels like I need to cry. I will cry my skin instead because I really don't care. none of this matters anymore. can't take any help because I can't even help myself. I am not scared of the end now.