Okay so I've had so many shutdowns..I thought I could take them but woah...I have cellulitus in my calf and went to the docs yeastersay and she said "Oh Mahala you've grown tall" (hinting at my weight loss ) and then she said "last time I saw you was just before you went to england" hinting again at my self harm because thats when I last saw her. She asked me tot akwe off my school stockings and I tried to withiout pulling up my skirt cos she would see my scars cvos they show through my stockings but it was really hard..she just kept staring at me. But she said that she was glad I came in because it was spreading. the skin on the main point has gone brown and blistered because its dead. I pulled it off last night to release some of the pressure because it hurt like fuck. I've had to shuffle around the house on my bum all day because when I stand everything rushes down to my leg and woah it throbs. I HAVE THE DAY OFF TONIGHT becauseI worked last night instead..but I have my defensive driving course till 9.30 and still have to go into work to have my contract stuff done. I don't care anymore.