Hmm so today I got up at 6 and went to work for 7.30 I got ot walk around a bit more today which was good because ym feet didn't get as sore. I went to see my Grandad and I said to him how I was looking forward to having an actual meal for the first time in a week tonight and he said..hmm..and went and got me a nig block of chocolate and some licorice from his cupboard then got one extra for me to 'munch on'. I feel bad because he spends all his money on lollies and stuff like that to give to me. He likes to give things to people and I hope that now I have money of my own I can give him things too. It was really sad because when he saw me coming up the stairs to his door he jumped up and fell but caught himself on the door. He's getting more pain in his knees and each time I see him he gets sore-er. I am so tired. its like having 7 days of school. 7 lots of 6 hours and never sleep time. I have this decorative net hanging over my bed and last night I kept getting tangled in it, so I didn't sleep very well. Thoughts kept popping into my head too and really annoyed me and kept me up for ages. I think the best bit of my day was coming home and driving up the drive (my drive is really long) and the chooks, Lulu and rachel ran behind my car and were right at my feet saying hello when I stepped out of my car..Oh, and my nails are growing really long. usually I bite them till they bleed but since I wash meat and it gets stuck under them I really dont want to put my finger in my mouth so yeah, they're getting really long.

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All my life I\'ve been harassed by questions: Why is something this way and not another? How do you account for that? This rage to understand, to fill in the blanks, only makes life more banal. If we could only find the courage to leave our destiny to chance, to accept the fundamental mystery of our lives, then we might be closer to the sort of happiness that comes with innocence. Luis Buuel