I avoided going home after school..I went into the shops and had a look. I ended up buying some chocolate and ate it. I didn't want to go home incase Sally was lying dead. I'm not blaming her for getting chocolate or anything..iunno. I drove up the drive and saw her by the pond and I thought she was dead and I started shaking. I ran over to her and she was half lying down unable to support her own weight. I started shoving her to see and she opened her eyes a bit. I carried her inside. she is so frail. Then I put her on the floor while I got the phone book for the vets name. I asked Sally to help me find the number and she attempted to make a sound it just came out as a gurgle. She collapsed after about 30 seconds of standing and it was asd if she went to0 sleep. When I rang the vet I asked to talk to sarah and I ctarted crying and said to Sarah could I bring Sally in to be put down now please and she said yeah..okay I'll book you in..see you soon..I wrapped sally like a baby in a towel and placed her on my lap and drove to the vets. I talked to her the whole way and put the heating on a bit. her feet were blue and her cox comb purple. I thought she was dead every time she closed her eyes. When we got to the vets Sarah had a quick look and felt sally's body and agreed that she should just be put down. Today was horrible I didnt know if I was coming home to a dead chicken or not so thats why I decided to put her to sleep today. Sarah wrapped Sally in another towel and carried her away and I payed at the desk. When I was waiting to pay I felt the tears coming again but semi held them back. I was worried that I would burts out crying when I told the lady what I was paying for. Then one girl in my class waved and said hello and I thought fuck..no one ever sees me cry..I stood there for ages because the lady infront of me was getting stuff done to her dog and I kept trying to hold back the tears but I couldnt any longer and they kept falling down my face andI felt humiliated because april (the girl) was staring at me. I looked at the other wall and pretended to look at a poster on the wall. When it wasmy turn to pay I stepped up and the lady said right..thats $32 for that..I ddnt have to say anything. She handed me the reciet and I wlaked off. God it was horrible. April willask me why I was crying at school and tell people. I dont even know what to tell My parents when they come home. IF they fucking come home. On the way home my car felt so empty. When Sarah carried Sally away she opened her eyes and looked right at me. She knows when she is in someone elses arms. I felt so bad. And now I am crying again because it all just feels so horrible. my stomach has got sharp pains because I ate too much of that chocolate. My Dad will automatically think Im goingto cut myself and wot let me out of his sight when he hears whats happened. I hate the way they treat me. like im some breakable porcelin that can dissapear if something bad happens. Hmm first day o0f school today this term..It was alright..I just pretended to be a nobody and didnt get too much hassle. The teachers ignored me which was good..I don't know what to do anymore. Its not just Sally dying or my Dad's violent anger erruptying again last night..its everything and I cant stop any of it.