Ight..I haven't wrote here in ages..Its all gotten worse..but here goes. I finally got my car back..after $500 of break cylinders put in etc..UghVicky is still not talking to me, I doubt if she ever will..maybe she is like me and just doesnt have anything to say..I've been getting bruises really easily lately and dizzy when I stand, It's not that I am choosing not to eat..I just don't have the appitite and I tend to only eat when my Mom reminds me to and since she is never home I don't eat much. Its all just too much effort anymore. I am getting to the oint of lashing out at the next perverted guy at my school who thinks they can harrass me each day..I am loosing focus in classes..although in Geo I got a merit which was surprising. I have given up n English completley. today I left early and just drove home. It hurts too much to live. I do the same things everyday (not out of choice) when I'm not at school I am sleeping or in my room or on the computer because I have no energy whatsoever. Gymnastics is really hurting my body..The coach knows I am hyper flexible but still stretches my shoulders to the point where they touch the floor. I was lying on my stomach and my hands pulled over my head and they touched the ground..I keep falling on my ankles and the next morning and for a few days I can't even get dressed because it's too painful to move. Today I brought a new blade..I don't plan to use it It is just comforting to have it on me. My friends keep saying to me whats wrong and I try and shrug it off. I dont know whats wrong, all I feel now is numb. There is a rumour going around school that I want someones girlfriend to myself or something..I dont care about it much because its not true but it does bother me a bit..I havnt weighed myself and I think I will wait a bit before I do. I havent wrote poetry in ages I havent had a peaceful sleep in ages. All I feel is numb..theres this aching inside everyday. I guess I just wish I wasnt as lonely, but I keep isolating myself..or rather this 'numbness' does it for me. iunno.
Replies
Breaks are a necessity.....good thing they are fixed ;)
I think it it time for you to quit obsessing over Vicky.....it is not good for you. I know it is hard, but focusing on someone who is not going to return anything to you is someone you do not need in your life.
Would you take care of yourself and eat right already ;) Your bruises are going to be around for a while and easy to get if you don\'t start eating healthy. You won\'t have any energy either if you aren\'t eating healthy. Do it for me........I want you around to talk to.
Rumors........rumors are wrong most of the time and there is little you can do about it. The thing about rumors are it can go both ways......the ones spreading the rumors usually have rumors spread about them. Rumors......truthful or not........usually have little or no meaning other than it gives some people something to talk about because their lives are boring.
I am around for you ........I like the new picture.....is your hair getting longer?