Ight..I haven't wrote here in ages..Its all gotten worse..but here goes. I finally got my car back..after $500 of break cylinders put in etc..UghVicky is still not talking to me, I doubt if she ever will..maybe she is like me and just doesnt have anything to say..I've been getting bruises really easily lately and dizzy when I stand, It's not that I am choosing not to eat..I just don't have the appitite and I tend to only eat when my Mom reminds me to and since she is never home I don't eat much. Its all just too much effort anymore. I am getting to the oint of lashing out at the next perverted guy at my school who thinks they can harrass me each day..I am loosing focus in classes..although in Geo I got a merit which was surprising. I have given up n English completley. today I left early and just drove home. It hurts too much to live. I do the same things everyday (not out of choice) when I'm not at school I am sleeping or in my room or on the computer because I have no energy whatsoever. Gymnastics is really hurting my body..The coach knows I am hyper flexible but still stretches my shoulders to the point where they touch the floor. I was lying on my stomach and my hands pulled over my head and they touched the ground..I keep falling on my ankles and the next morning and for a few days I can't even get dressed because it's too painful to move. Today I brought a new blade..I don't plan to use it It is just comforting to have it on me. My friends keep saying to me whats wrong and I try and shrug it off. I dont know whats wrong, all I feel now is numb. There is a rumour going around school that I want someones girlfriend to myself or something..I dont care about it much because its not true but it does bother me a bit..I havnt weighed myself and I think I will wait a bit before I do. I havent wrote poetry in ages I havent had a peaceful sleep in ages. All I feel is numb..theres this aching inside everyday. I guess I just wish I wasnt as lonely, but I keep isolating myself..or rather this 'numbness' does it for me. iunno.