today I got so frustrated with my english teacher. She sent me to the library with half the class to write an essay on the computer when we could easily have wrote it on paper then whenI was logged on the computer and ready she said "actually I want you to go tot he pod" Its another computer room with the other half of the class in it. so I went there and they all had worksheets that I didn't have and there were no computers left when there werre like 3 spare in the library. I got so frustrated and fed up with being fucked around and just everything started attacking me and I was crying the next moment. Iwentto the bathroom, locked myself in the cubicle and cried for so long. I couldn't breathe :( too. I went out of there once I'd calmed down and back to the library where my english teacher came sat next to me and started saying "so how are you going on with your essay" and I said "well I don't know because I haven't got a clue what to write about" (I haven't learnt anything, she is such a freaking bad teacher) When I told her this I broke down again and started crying infront of everyone this time. She started talking to me like Im so freaking hanidicap (she still hasn't figured out that I got excellence in my english exams last year). She did my plan of my essay for me and left me alone for a bit. I started re reading the short stories we're meant to write about and she comes over to me again and says "Oh qwell that is a good plan you got there" and she starts reading it then gives it a tick..SHE WROTE IT IN THE FIRST PLACE!!! I went to my old english teacher who is also the head of english department and she could see I had been crying so she asked how frustrating it is and she ended up looking through my enlgish work again and commenting how concerned she is with it. I fucking hate school. I don't fit in with my "friends" since Im not in the polo team with them anymore. All we had in common was polo. I'd go hang out with Vicky except she hates my guts and everyone else who I think of is too homophobic to reply to me. I hate it so much. I used to be on top of these horrible feelings. I cut last night and cried three days in a row. I feel so weak too. Its horrible.  I devot my time to Sims2 and reading. When Im not playing sims or at gymnastics im reading. I like biogrphies and medical books. sometimes I can even read a novel (not often though) and its great to get lost into the characters world, I prefer to read books based on truth though. The thing is though, when My english teacher sees me reading she says "oh come join the book club" a pathetic book club for year 9's with only like 8 people. I happened to be in the library and I didnt know it was bookclub day and she made me go to it. IT's based on giving people stickers for how much they read and little ticks when they complete a book. Ugh. I wanted to scream, I wonder what she would of done. Anyways, I'll see how the next few days go but I can't go on like this.