well I don't know if I have mentioned this..but there's this girl called Vicky and she is amazing! she has a mohawk most days and is really outrageous in terms of fashion and her ways just are so awsome..anyways she doesnt care what people think of her and the bullies that mock her..well I just wana smack them over..Lol..I really have a huge crush on Vicky and she's bisexual (she doesnt care about what people think about that either)..In math I get her textbook for her :) I'm so unsure if she feels the same way. I think shedoes though because when she sees me she yells out to say hello to meand when we wait for our buses she hugs me..she makes me feel so special..yesterday was muftti day and she wore this most prettiest dress and look so pretty..I emailed her and said that she looked "awsome" (patheic on my account I know) I'm totally shy around her and so don't know how to act..oh and I havent actually told her im lesbian..well because no one knows in my school and I tend to keep it that way..so there is a chance that she thinks i'm straigh (bummer) and that I just wantto be friends..but I'm still not surehow she feels, and I don't have the guts to ask her..its amazing really though..even though we have only talked limited to each other..she makes me feel so free and I wake up and get to school..just to see her, even if its just one glance all day..it makes it all worth while. Man, if she knew about the cutting or the way I think sometimes or my poems..well then she totally wouln't want to know me..I really want to be myself around her, but im so not sure how to..I was thinking of writing a poem to her..but somthing inside my head told me that she's too great to even be written into one of my poems...she's totally amazing and I can't stop thinking about her.