im so scared to sleep tonight. the most horrible part is when im half asleep but still aware of what is around me..i always have to go to sleep in a cold empty bed. i dont even want to do anything sexual..i just want to hold her in my arms till all her fear is gone. its not fair. i wish she could be with me. when ima lone all sorts of mind messing thoughts appear and i feel as though i am trapped. iwish it would stop and i could just be with her.